Jorge Antonio Frimpter
DOB: August 27, 1952 in Manhattan (and we don’t mean Kansas)
Height: 6′ 1″
Weight: 210 pounds
Nationality: American (German Irish Gypsy English Chinese Descent)
Interstate Transportation of Chupacabras for Immoral Purposes, Being from New York, Harassment of Slackers.
Jorge Antonio Frimpter is being sought in connection with the September 1983 theft of of four chupacabras from the Federal Chupacrabra Study Center in San Saba, TX. He intimidated security guards with his trademark sideways stare and then said, “What you think is not my problem.”
Occupations: Ham radio operator, tree-hugger, goat roper, retired computer security officer, ill-tempered gun-toting hippie vegetarian redneck.
Scars or Marks: One-inch scar on right shoulder blade, mole on right shoulder blade. (not a growth, an actual pet mole called “Murray”), webbed feet, occasionally displays 3-inch horns on forehead. Complexion is medium. Jorge Antonio Frimpter is believed to be in possession of a .50 BMG Derringer. Frimpter customarily wears a mustache and has two blue eyes.
Alias: Wandering Holy Man, King George, WB5TXW, LeGaffe, George Anthony Frimpter, The Scourge of Crestview.
If you have any information concerning this case take no action yourself. Contact the local animal control department or the nearest ARRRL Office.